YES TO THE NURSING HOME?: THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STORY

My sister and I like to argue about whether we’re considered Gen-Xers or ancient Millennials. We’re on the cusp. She prefers to be lumped in with Gen-X and I’m enjoying my seniority in the Millennial cohort.

The 19 months that separate our births, and potentially our generations, do not affect our shared experiences, namely that we’re both watching our parents get old and seeing the possibility that we’re about to be members of an evergreen generation: the sandwich generation.

Nearly a quarter of American adults are stuck in this “rock and a hard place” scenario, raising kids, working, and caring for aging parents. 66% are stressed over the costs of caring for three generations, simultaneously, but it’s more than just the money. These guys are next level exhausted and trying to cope with a burgeoning list of tasks and responsibilities.

Being overwhelmed seems to be par for the course even before your parents become a factor. I could throw a shoe in my neighborhood a hit a working mom who is giving her all and failing to meet expectations and feeling mighty guilty because of it.

Oddly, working from home gave us delusions of capacity, silly thoughts that we would be hyper-productive if all our problems were present to us at the same time, available to be solved. We tried, and we burned out. We’re just people, after all.

Could we really add parents to this mix? Maybe not. Take a moment to read these short profiles of ‘sandwichers’ trying to get by and keep their heads on straight. Its really…something.

Pickings are slim when it comes to solutions for the sandwich generation, but two perennial contenders are planning and self-care. Planning, be it financial, estate, funeral, meal or other can help you estimate the costs, time, and stress that it takes to accomplish certain things and make whatever maneuvers are possible to help ease the burden.

We recommend self-care in two ways: the kind where you get to destress in a bubble bath and the kind that really saves you: setting boundaries and prioritizing your values. Being choosy about what we allow into our lives and knowing why we allow it is important for our collective sanity; and it means people are going to be hearing “no” more frequently when soliciting your help.

Flight attendants tell you to put on your mask before helping others for a reason. You’re no good to anyone passed out on the floor. You’ll get used to any bad reactions and it’ll get easier to do.

If you’re feeling a little whiplash from last week, we get it. These pieces are not meant to be an endorsement of a particular solution because, unless you’re a client, we don’t know you or your needs and can’t tell you what to do when it comes to managing your family, whether or not its multi-gen, through our blog. Every solve is custom.

Rather, we try to explore possibilities in the hopes that you’ll find a solution that helps you live your life and uphold your values.